The Diary of Minerva McGonagall
by Qster13
Summary: Minerva's diary, chronicling her growing friendship and eventual relationship with Severus Snape.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Please excuse my prolonged absence I have been extremely busy as of late and my lack of updates was unforgivable. Rest assured that I have not given up on my other story but this idea was just too good to pass up. This is sort of a prequel to my other story so please enjoy it. Both stories can be read alone or together whichever you prefer. To those of you still reading my other story an update should be posted within the next week. If anyone has any ideas about where I should take the story, or anything you think I should add feel free to message me or leave a review

The Diary of Minerva McGonagall , Hogwarts Transfiguration Professor and head of Gryffindor house.

September 1st

I can't believe that Albus has allowed that wretched deatheater to teach at our school. How could he honestly allow someone that had been so awful in joining the other side to TEACH here at our school? He was a known death eater for goodness sakes. Albus must really be out of his mind. He has said that Severus is a changed man, and that he has brought us important information for the Order from Voldermort's inner circle, but how can he be so sure that what Severus says is true? How can he be sure that Severus will not take information from the Order and give it to the other side? I know that Severus and I used to be friends back in our school days together, and I will even admit that at one point in time I really did have a bit of a crush on him, but now after all that he has done, I can't believe he has been allowed back. I despise the fact that he was allowed to come back here, and teach. All I can say is that I do not trust this Severus Snape, not one bit.

September 3rd

He is a horrid teacher I have heard, yelling at the students and scaring the first years, it is something that is never done. I've never met someone as strict as he is and so hard on the students. I believe that already the children have come to fear him, and get out of his away immediately when he walks down the hallways. He says the students aren't well enough prepared in their potion making skills and has changed all of the requirements for his classes. To be in advanced potions, they must have attained a perfect on their O.W.L.s. Does he have any idea how few students can attain such a spectacular grade? In our year, he was the only one to receive that mark. I do admire his high expectations though, he can't just let the students graze their way through school; they must work hard and go above and beyond.

September 15th

Severus and I have started talking again, if only to be civil with one another, I refuse to accept Dumbledore's word that he is a changed man. It would be easier to accept if he gave me a reason why Severus changed sides so suddenly, but he says that it is between Severus and himself, and always leaves it at that. I know that I should trust Dumbledore and that I probably should not be so hard on Severus. I just fear for the sake of the order, and for the sake of the students and all of our kind. Until He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is gone, I will not allow myself to place trust in Severus.

September 21st

Try as I might I find it almost impossible to hate this man, my dear childhood friend. We were as close as two peas in a pod as one might say. The only other person he was that close to was Lily Potter. He had a fierce devotion to her when he was younger, even after their friendship broke off he still cared for her and tried to protect her. I have a hunch that he may have become a deatheater, to impress her after James had caused their friendship to break off. I have a feeling that Severus may have even loved Lily at one point in time. I regret that I could not have been closer to him at that point in time, in which he was most vulnerable, I could have helped him, guided him. Instead I watched from the sidelines sitting there like a dumb fool, not brave enough to intervene and help my dear, dear, friend. At this point I find myself wondering if Severus would take any interest in renewing our friendship just like old times and joining me for a nice cup of tea. I think I will ask him, maybe we can even play a game of chess.

September 25th

I'm glad that I had invited Severus to tea, we ended up having a splendid time over tea and a game of chess. It was so good to catch up and talk about old times, I have no idea why I was so reluctant to accept my old friend again. Though he is a bit sarcastic, and still makes some jeers he is truly a kindhearted man. I have a feeling that he puts on the façade during the day to get the students to listen to him, and he wants to be viewed that way. Similar to the way I am around the students and most of the staff. Around Severus I feel that I can truly be myself, and feel comfortable that way. I feel a sense of security with him, a feeling that no one else can provide. We have decided to have chess games at least once a week, alternating between his quarters and mine.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you to those of you who have read my story, and who have continued to stick with my writing, I truly appreciate it. I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I promise the next one will be longer, if not a bit fast paced but bear with me please. I hope you enjoy this chapter. As the Harry Potter Universe does not belong to me but to the wonderful JK Rowling.

* * *

><p>October 12th<p>

What a wonderful game of chess we had tonight, Severus beat me….again, but it was a wonderful game. The conversation was stimulating as well, though most people don't know this Severus has a wonderful sense of humor, and has the most interesting take on everyday things that occur at the school. It is so nice to have someone my age amongst the staff, we have had so many good times to talk about, and we get along so well. We would never let the rest of the staff see that though. Whenever they see us we are fighting. Most of our arguments occur in public view. It is strange, almost every time we are having an argument, somehow or another it ends up out in the open, so everyone can hear and see it. The rest of the staff must think we completely detest each other, the entire student body probably thinks the same exact thing. Severus and I had a good laugh over that tonight at our chess game.

October 20th

Such an interesting conversation Severus and I had today, it was absolutely hilarious. Our new Divination instructor, professor Trelawney seems to fancy Severus. She has eyes for the man, she takes every possible chance to bump in to, or talk to Severus. I swear she would even wait outside of a Confessional just to talk to him if necessary. What a strange person that Sybil is, and what strange habits she has. I have never seen anyone so enthralled with predicting people's deaths, or "reading auras" she just has a strange way about her. I wish she could see the look on Severus's face whenever I bring her name up in pleasant conversation.

* * *

><p>November 6th<p>

Ever since the deaths of the Potters Severus has been hard to talk to, he spends allot of his time in his rooms, and is a hard person to reach. It seems that all of the happiness has gone out of his life. He has become a bit more aggressive with the students. It seems to me that he has made a shell around himself so that no one can see what is going on with him. He has cancelled all of our chess matches until further notice. I think he just feels that he caused two innocent people to loose their lives, as a former death eater, but he should be rejoicing and praising God, for You-Know-Who, is finally gone. I do grieve the loss of my dear friends the Potters, and all of the others that I have lost in this war, and it is hard for me to truly be festive. Maybe Severus has lost good friends as well and that is why he has closed himself off. I think he needs time to himself to cope with everything and then he should be right as rain...I hope.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Greetings and salutations! Thank you to all of you that have been reading this story and my other one, and sticking with me these past few months, I greatly appreciate the time you have spent reading my work. Again I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I promise the next one should be longer, halfway through writing this one I decided on postponing another even in the story so that should be posted next time. As always none of the Harry Potter universe is mine, it all belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>December 10th<p>

Severus has finally agreed to resume our weekly chess matches again, it seems it has taken him a while to fully adjust to the relative safety we are now living in, the fact that we can be free to live our lives again. He is finally coming out of his protective shell and joining the world again. Even some of his humor has returned. We had a delightful game this evening, with him beating me at chess, but I must admit it was an extremely close match. I must figure out his strategy, it seems so, illogical. At times I get the feeling that he is a legilimens, and is able to read minds, but I highly doubt he would use that talent to beat me in a game of chess. That would simply be pointless.

December 17th

Severus and I had such a good time at our chess game this evening, I haven't seen him smile so much in ages, it was a wonderful thing to see. We had quite the conversation, he and I, about everything, what was going on, what we thought of our different students, and just how life was going in general. He told me that he had missed our chess games, and even more so our conversations. In truth so had I, immensely so. It is strange how much I missed his company so much; to be separated from him seems so strange, so abnormal. I feel that I need him nearby at all times. I haven't told him this for I rear that he would find it much too strange, or would perhaps laugh at me for it. I just know that something has changed between the two of us, just what I do not know.

December 20th

That wonderful, infuriating, loveable man, though I can scarcely believe it I think I have fallen in love with him. I can't believe it, he has me under his power in such a way, I can't expect him to return my feelings though. How miserable this is, I love him but I cannot be sure whether or not he feels the same, unless I decide to tell him of my feelings, which is something that I am certain that I could not do, looking in the eyes of embarrassment is not something I would like to do or be willing to do at anytime in the near future or otherwise. I will just have to keep these feelings to myself, however possible. I cannot damage this friendship of ours, I cherish my time spent with him, and I could not allow the staff to see me in such a position. What would they say if they were to see two seemingly sworn enemies together? I can only say that it would be terrible I would be teased mercilessly, and he would never be looked at the same way again. No I must keep these feelings to myself, I can't jeopardize anything I'll just have to go on as if nothing has changed between the two of us. Our next get together is in two days; I wonder how everything will go between us and I wonder if I will be able to keep my feelings hidden from him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **First of all I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, all 12 days of it. Next order of business, I would like to apologize for the extremely long wait for updates on all of my stories. I have been so busy with school, piano, band, and orchestra that I have not had the chance to write much or post much of anything in a very long time. It would seem that I have neglected this story for a particularly long period of time, so I will try updating it again soon. While I have been away I have had some interesting ideas for this story, that I think may serve to make it more enjoyable. Instead of it just being a diary I think I will start having Minerva write some personal narratives about different events, and then in some cases I will write from the third person with diary entries interspersed throughout. I will just have to see where the writing takes me. On another note I realize that this chapter may seem a bit rushed and Minerva is way out of character throughout. I just thought Minerva finally needed some time to let her hair down so to speak, and just be the young woman she is and not the strict, prim and proper teacher we all know.

I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this so far, and for sticking with me. Enjoy this chapter, and remember to leave a review if you like it!

* * *

><p>December 22nd<p>

The events of tonight were so utterly different than I had imagined them to be I can scarcely tell you what occurred and believe my own words at the same time. Where should I begin? Perhaps I will just give you a narrative of the whole event, right from the beginning. Well here it goes, I hope I can do the actual event itself justice. It all started when I was tidying my quarters before his arrival. This time it would be my rooms where we played our chess game, and had our tea. We would also be dining together, that being a tradition I hope will take off. Since for the first time almost all of the students are away on holiday it is not an uncommon practice to dine in our own quarters. The other members of the staff consider Severus and I to be quiet and reserved so it would not raise suspicion in the least if we were both missing at the great hall tonight. For some reason I don't want them to know about our friendship, it may seem selfish but for now I would like to keep this to myself. When I am with Severus I feel calm and happy, and simply wonderful, I am not quite ready to share that. Besides I am sure Poppy, Pomona, and Rolanda would take things the wrong way, and would never stop teasing me about this.

Just as I was putting the finishing touches on everything and smoothing out my dress he rapped on my door. For some reason I felt myself getting butterflies in my stomach, at this time I had realized that I had been getting these almost every time I had seen him since September, I guess I had been in love with him ever since then, in retrospect I'm extremely surprised that I had not picked up on this sooner than I had. It should have been the most obvious thing in the world. Where was I? Ah yes I heard a rapping at my door, so I did my best to improve my appearance, and put on a welcoming face. I soon opened the door to find a smiling Severus, which in itself is somewhat of a surprise, what was even more surprising was what he held in his hands, a bouquet of my favorite flowers, and a bottle of red wine "What's all of this?" I asked him questioningly?

"I believe proper social protocol states that when one is a guest at another's place for dinner one should bring a gift, and wine" he said giving me one of his signature looks.

"I believe you are correct." I replied smiling back at him, and taking the flowers from him, going to find a vase to put them in. " They are gorgeous." I said.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you." He said sincerely. His comment had shocked me, I had never seen myself as beautiful, let alone imagined that someone else could think of me as such, what a shock it was to me to find out that he thought of me as beautiful! He could certainly be dashing and handsome when he tried, how could he really see me as a beauty. I blushed profusely, though I hoped he had not noticed. "You really shouldn't think so little of yourself Minerva, what I said before is the absolute truth, you are one of the most beautiful witches around, you should carry yourself as such. If you have not already noticed it men throw themselves at you constantly, it truly is a wonder that you haven't married yet." After this comment I was absolutely speechless, he really did think that I was beautiful, and he wasn't just saying that!

"Thank you Severus" I said hoping that I didn't sound overly pathetic. I couldn't believe he thought I was beautiful; I didn't know that this could be happening to me! I felt like a teenage girl again, always waiting for that moment when a crush would return my smile, or even talk to me. I must have been blushing for he gave me one of his signature smirks, and started helping me set the table and lay everything out as it should be. To the best of my knowledge he had no idea how excited I was for this night; If he did he didn't show any sign of it.

We passed our evening with pleasant conversation and as usual a game of chess. He was victorious again, but I didn't care. Tonight Severus was unusually witty and charming, almost every other thing he said to me was a compliment. Instead of our usual serious conversations based on school and other goings on, most of tonight's conversation had to do with us, and our lives. Then the most wonderful thing happened. (I can scarcely believe it even now.) As we were getting ready to part ways Severus took my hand in his and kissed it, making me blush profusely (once again, this seems to be a habit for me now).

"Minerva," he began taking my hands in his " I truly enjoyed tonight and I hope that we can do something similar to this again soon.

With that he took his leave, and we parted ways for the evening. I know I must seem like a giddy schoolgirl right now, as embarrassing as it is, yet somehow I don't mind. I will probably look back on this at some point and kick myself, but right now I am in such a blissful state I don't care.


End file.
